there is a list of things that could be causing the "all-over" hurt I feel today:
- I didn't stretch before softball, or after.
- I drank quite a bit last night.
- I slapped the bar too many times.
- I threw a drunken fit over something and someone entirely not worth my time.
- I slept with nick in a bed that's not made for two adult-sized people.
- I didn't get enough sleep.
- I am not excited to spend yet another day in front of a computer.
- I haven't been eating well, if at all, lately.
- I don't drink enough water in general.
- I am worried about things over which I have no control and no insight.
I have this funny nostalgia for sights and smells of the places I used to inhabit. and with this funny nostalgia, as alluded to in an earlier post, comes this sense that if I could just find a place in st. louis that does the same thing for me - but right now, in the moment, instead of in that days-gone-by way - I would feel okay. I'm beginning to think that I'm lying to myself about that. I'm beginning to think that I just need to embrace point twenty-six on my lifelist and simply fall in love with everything I'm doing in that minute, whether that minute is full of noise or silence.
my friend tim suggested that I start doing more for myself. you're always so busy, he said to me on the phone this morning, after I took a walk for a break from my office. you need to just do something that makes you feel better, something small, something away from other people, something just for you. I agree with him. I just don't know where to start.
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