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the problem with the internet is that there's entirely too much of it.

I wonder what I would be doing with my life today without it:

would I work more and be less distracted by instant information? maybe my desk wouldn't be such a mess and I wouldn't be so behind. or maybe I still wouldn't completely do everything I'm supposed to be doing, and would have created a pile of doodles instead. or maybe, just maybe, I would be working somewhere completely different and feeling ultimately more productive.

would I know half of what I know about my allergies and illnesses? maybe I'd feel better if I didn't. maybe I'd be a happy little human running around eating low doses of things and slowly building immunities instead of becoming more sensitive to foods. maybe I'd be less cautious about certain things, or at least less serious, less of a down.

would I read more actual newspapers, and buy more actual music? maybe I'd get so much work done that I'd get out early and have time to sit in a bookstore and read, or stroll down the block to buy music, and support two professions I actually respect.

would I stress out about communicating with long distance friends? I mean, maybe I would use all that free time to write more real mail. maybe I would check my voicemail more often, and make more phone calls. maybe I would live somewhere else entirely, just to stay close to a handful of people, or just one.

would I remember half of the people who drop me oh-so-convenient comment posts? maybe I would come upon them in a picture in a box in my mom's basement and grow instantly happy at the snapshot where I hold them in my head, instead of grow sick to my stomach with envy or disappointment in the people they've become.

would I notice that I am suddenly less important in someone's life than they are in mine? maybe life would be easier if, rather than being bumped off of someone's top friends list, or left off of their page completely, I just never knew that they took that picture of me and them off their shelf, or never put one up to begin with.

but it's there. it's all there. and it's how I use it, it's how I see it, it's how I take it. I guess I can choose to use it less; to pay less attention to how other people use it (or don't); I guess I can be less offended or excited over things I do and don't see or read. I guess I can make more of an effort to make more tangible efforts in the dimensions I understand more.

I guess.

I harp on this shit so much, it might as well have a tag. oh, now it does.

back to it.